1. Even if you think your 5 ½ month old would be interested in watching you feed ducks, they really aren’t. You just end up stepping in duck poo for no good reason.
2. When you pull up at the park and see the other children (who are about 4-5 years old) wearing their Carhartt coveralls, you should turn around and go home. The Bailey Boys sleeveless dress with matching bloomers is probably not the best choice for the season. No matter how cute you think it is.
3. If you have a baby stroller with some of those nice iBaby speakers for your baby, you should make sure your iPod is already set to something appropriate for the park and your child. Nobody wants to hear you strolling around to Run DMC singing “It’s Tricky”.
4. Even if your baby did have colic and she still likes to be bounced around 24/7 and she screams when you put her in the stroller unless you make it jerk around and do some rough riding on the gravel, there is no need to be so obvious about it. Nothing worse than people thinking you are playing Evel Knievel with your baby.
5. Make sure all the cars door are shut before you decide it’s a good time to nurse. And don’t holler and draw attention to yourself if they aren’t.
I seriously can't remember when I've laughed this hard. And I laugh a lot on a normal day.
ReplyDeleteAnd look at that smiley baby and skinny mama in the picture!